Epic Tales 5

Once again the Book of Epic Tales has willed itself to read. Now gather round as another tale from the Immortal God Emperors memoirs is read allowed for mortal ears to hear.

Once long ago in the land of New Hampshire, a young lad named Ronnie decided to go on on an adventure. Ronnie had long known that he had a destiny for Mr T had once come to him in a dream and told him that he would one day harness the greatest power in the known universe. (besides the power of the Round House Kick)

So Ronnie began his trek one fateful day when he ran out of a Catholic Church in tears. He knew that the Priest was full of lies and that they were forcing him to worship a false god. He ran from the his mother into the sewers. He soon became lost in the dark catacombs. Through all of this Ronnie did not despair for he kept on wandering through the sewers knowing that his destiny was at hand. Ronnie tripped and fell into an abyss. He fell into a hell hole which deposited him at the base of Satan's Throne.

Satan looked upon the young lad with disgust. She could see that he carried with him the mark of Norris. She knew that ought right killing the boy was out of the question for the Immortal God Emperor would destroy her if she touched one of his chosen. So she decided to try to trick him into condemning his soul to hell.

Ronnie saw through her rouse for he was chosen. Ronnie however did want to free King Leonidas who was stuck in hell because he had gone their to dine and was not given his check so that he could pay and return to Crom in Valhalla. So Ronnie challenged Satan to a Rock Off in which if Ronnie wins he would
1. Free Leonidas from hell, and Leonidas would be able to eat in hell for free.
2. Ronnie would learn the dark powers of hell.
3. Ronnie would be allowed to keep duel citizenship on Earth and Hell.

If Ronnie lost than his soul would be Satan's forever.

Satan agreed to this challenge believing that a boy who had never played a note in his life could not possibly defeat her at a rock off. Thus the Satan played an Epic ballad. The likes that can not be heard by mortal ears less they be pulverized by the power.

Ronnie for a moment thought that he was in over his head, then he did something he had never done before. He prayed to Crom for Valor. After Ronnie completed his sacred pact with Crom he turned to Satan and picked up a holy guitar which had materialized at his feet. It was made of Carbonite, and shaped like a battle ax. Little Ronnie picked up the guitar and played the first thing that came to his mind.

It was so Epic that words do not do this song justice. Lightning started firing forth from the mighty battle guitar. Many of Satan's many fold minions were vaporized. Satan knew that she was surly beat. She tried to shroud Ronnie in darkness in the hopes that he would miss a note. Darkness fell over Ronnie. But instead of inhibiting his playing he actually shot forth a Rainbow. The Rainbow not only illuminated Ronnie's playing but it also burned a hole through hell and gave Ronnie a way home

Satan submitted to Ronnie's demands. Leonidas could eat for free, Ronnie was given duel Citizenship to hell, and he was given the power of METAL. Ronnie James Dio is the holder of the Metal and thus has gained inhuman powers. He now goes out into the world encouraging children to rock, and he also defends women from pedophiles.
Dio gets to choose who lives and who dies.

Thus is the origins of Dios half century rain over Metal. Be thankful that Dio trekked to hell for we would not know of its evil powers without him. In honor of the rainbow which he shot from his loin he sings about them and even named a band after rainbows.