E3 07 4 7h3 W1N

So E3 has just started and I'm going to give you guys a few of my personal favorite games this time around. Sure we don't have as much hype this year because E3 is closed to the public but I'm sure we can stir up our own hype.

Assasins Creed
This is the game where you get to Assasinate Creed. Now not many people know this but I hate Creed. They can suck my balls long and hard. I was immidiately surprised and happy to hear that they made a game where you can hunt down each band member and kill them in new and interesting ways. We've already seen footage of game play where you track down Creeds lead singer in what looks to me like Iraq. I just hope that there can be down loadable content, like new bands to kill like Pearl Jam, and Rage Against The Machine.


Halo 3

Now I have mixed feelings about Halo. You see I love killing Xenos, and I love Halo's single player mode. But you see Halo, specificly Halo 2 is virtually unplayable online because of all of the 15 year old kids and the jocks. But as I have come to understand Halo 3 isnt just all about the online game play. Its all about the Killing. I do believe that it will have online coop which is going to pwn hard, and I hear that Master Chief prays to Crom and Chuck Norris appears to help him destroy the Covenant.

Master Chief says FUCK TEH BRUTES

Bioshock
Shit a game where you go to an underwater utopian paradise that has gone horribly wrong? FUCK YEAH. Bioshock lets you shock said bio life forms, and I love the fact that there are large amounts of water in the game. So I could throw a toaster into a room full of mutants and most likely kill them all because the room will also be filled with water. COOL

Age of Conan
Enough has already been said about this game.

Call of Duty 4

So I guess the developers were sitting around and thinking what would make WWII more exciting. And they decided to add helicopters and modern weapons. So now I don't have to rely on the good old fashioned BAR to mow down wave after wave of Hun. No I can just pull out my SAW and cut threw them like butter. Oh we're landing at Normandy again? Fuck the para drop, I'm taking my Black Hawk. I'm excited to play Normandy one more time as long as I can bring my SAW. Although its not very fair to the Krauts, as lets face it the war was originally stacked against them the first time around. Now its like a baby vs a rhino.

The SAS know to hunt down Shane and his Kraut friends

Battlestar Galactica
I get to fly around and blow up fucking toasters in a Viper, and make sure that I get all my people back. As long as I don't have to listen to Starbucks and Apollos EMO rants then this game is going to PWN.

Mass Effect
Is about doing one thing...Killing Xenos. Its made by the same pimps who brought us Knights of the Old Republic. But this time we are a young human Empire. And the fucking Xenos are being dicks about it. So the Immortal God Emperor decides to teach the Xenos what its like to be beaten into submission. Hence the name Mass Effect. Mass being the Immortal God Emperors foot. And Effect being what happens to a Xenos head after the already mentioned foot connects in an epic round house kick.

Grand Theft Auto IV.

If you take a look at an average day of Delta Leader and I then you will get GTA4. It was really cool having Rockstar follow us around recording our pimptastic life styles. They even had us motion render the curb stomps and pimp slaps. You see a pimps beating is different from that of a squares.

He has the look of a true pimp

Thats just a taste of what is to come for our Xboxs and PCs.