Death

So I was playing Guitar Hero II, and I was playing as my favorite guitarist the Grimm Ripper.

Looking at how Bad Assed he is it made me think how awsome it would be to be Death.

Deaths job is to go around and reap peoples souls hence his name the Grimm Reaper. Death has a very important job you see. Without Death no one would die, and if no one died then the planet would be full of old people. We learned why Death can never take a day off, because he has people like Peter Griffin go and screw everything up.

You wouldn't believe it but Deaths best friends are War, Famine, and Pestulents. They play cards ever Wednesday at Deaths crib. They call themselves the four horsemen of the apocalypse because they always thought that it would be a really cool name for a band. Unfortunatly Death is the only one who can play guitar. War is over the top with his drums and Famine is tone deaf.

Death also is an excellent horsemen. His great pale steed is named Binky. People think its funny but they are wrong. Binky is the most awsome horse ever. He is uber fast, because he has to get Death to all the places where souls need to be reaped.

Death does have some assitants that help him in his quest to reap souls. I mean he does need to take time off to play heavy metal, and to chill with his friends. To help him out he has a small army of helpers. Like Mort, who fills in for Death on a fairly regular basis.

Death also has a thing for Kittens. Maybe its because Kittens are the only things in the world that can cheer a grown man up after a heart break, that and large amounts of violence. He collects Kittens in the same way he collects the souls of the cat ladies he reaps.

Sadly though Death does have a major drawback. You see he can't get laid. He kills everyone he touches. It is truly the greatest double edged sword. So as all of Deaths friends get married and start normal lives, he must live alone. The flip side is that Death is able to easily get revenge against anyone who ever crossed him in high school, with just a touch of his finger, that asshole jock is now dead of lung cancer.