A Manly Tribute- Orsen Wells

When I think of "The Man" I think of Orson Wells. Some of you are probably thinking to yourselves, who's Orson Wells? Orson "FUCK YOU MARS" Wells is one of the greatest narrators in the history of the world. His voice was known to topple mountains and to sink entire civilizations.

Orson Wells stared in films like Citizen Kane and The Third Man. He also narrated countless films. But what launched this manliest of mens carriers was when he was working as a CBS radio personality. Orson dramatized the War of the Worlds on the air. Millions of people panicked and acted like general pussies because they thought the Martians were already at war with Earth. Some of them even killed themselves because they knew that the were not hard and would die by the millions to the Martian death rays. Wells then had to apologies the the nation for making his Dramatization so realistic. But instead he apologiesed for not having more people die, and that he only wished that he could have added that Mini Space Marines were the real reason that the Martians died and not bacteria.

Wells Knew early on that Xenos were bad news

Later on in Orson Wells life he took over an Eastern European nation with the use of his powerful voice and his massive penis. He declared himself king and ruled for a thousand years just because he felt like it.

There you have it. A tribute to a manly man.

"Fuck Teh Police" says Orson Wells