Chainsaws pwn U

A duel weilding clown is P.I.M.P

I was playing my three favorite games on the 360 and I realized that they all have something in common. They all have chainsaws. It got me thinking and I realized that the chainsaw is the apex of mans weapons making technology.

Since the dawn of time man has tried to find ways to kill each other. If we look at all of the ancient weapons we see them being duel purposed. The spear was also used for hunting, the knife was used to cut food, the ax was used to chop little rodents into pieces. Only the sword was used as a tool to kill people all the time. But early man was not pleased with the sword because it did not cause the kind of carnage that the ax could

It wasn't until a man by the name of Bob Chainsaw invented the first chainsaw did melee weapons technology change in over 9000 years. Chainsaw declared his new weapon to be the single most dangerous thing on earth. He once said "This is the way the world ends...Not with a bang but with a buzz"

The chainsaw is the perfect melding of sword and ax. It cuts through Kevlar like butter, and will do short work to any xeno who wants to sneak up on you. The chainsaw has a much more terrifying effect upon troops in trench warfare than a bayonet could ever have. I had never thought about the effects of a chainsaw mounted on a rifle until I saw it in action by Sergeant Marcus Fenix in the great Locust War. I am now a believer that the chainsaw is an effective infantry weapon and should be issued to all ground troops.

Of course Space Marines have been wielding the chainsaw since forever. Space Marines have been battling xenos for millennia and it only makes sense that they would use such a fine weapon.

Ash hero of the Evil Dead series swears by his chainsaw. What weapon did Ash first get when Satan unleashed his many fold minions upon this plain of existance? Yes the shot gun...But the second weapon that wrought death was of corse the mighty chainsaw. He cut through hundreds of undead minions, and legions of deamons. Why because Ash is a BAMF and he just liked killing so much.

Yes that man removed his hand just so he could have a chainsaw hand

Here's to you owe mighty weapon of weapons, your teeth cut through bone as if it was a Jello mold. Ever making my gaming experience so much more fun.