80s Action Week: Rambo First Blood II

I have the honors of starting us off with one of the finest movies of the 80s action genre. Yes it is the Stallone classic Rambo First Blood II. Considered to be the greatest of the Rambo series we will see why Rambo's name went hand in hand with US foreign policy for over a decade.

Gipper Approved?
Yes Rambo II is the epitome of Regan era foreign policy. Set in 1985 when America was still realing from the "defeat" in Vietnam. America knew that she had left many fine warriors in those Crom forsaken Jungles and she wanted them back. Thus Rambo is the desire for every red blooded American to take revenge against Vietnam and get our people back. (What Would Adama Do?) It also shows that you can never trust beltway bureaucrats because they will call off any rescue attempt even when the chopper is mere feet from the LZ just because they hate America (Shane hates America)

One Liners:
Rambo: Murdock I'm coming for you.

Post Mortem One Liners:
None...I was disappointed in the lack of these but then again we are talking about Rambo who kills everything he sees, thus he never really gets to talk much for fear of getting to much blood from his enemies in his mouth.

Gratuitous acts of Violence?
Well first of all Rambo's favorite weapon is a fucking Bow. All the guys who get killed by Rambo's bow have to stop and think "I just got killed by an arrow...How weird is that?" He kills over a dozen guys with the Bow alone. He also destroys a Soviet Hind helicopter with a LAW. Rambo also destroys a Village and a POW camp. There are so many unique kills but if I had to choose my favorite it would be the guy he blew up with an explosive arrow. Rambo's vehicle count is one vehicle convoy and the already mentioned Hind. Tell you the truth I lost count with all the kills but I'm going to say that a conservative estimate would be around 75 and a more realistic estimate of being at least one hundred kills. The best Corpse kill we get is when the POWs shoot the gunnery crew inside the Hind and then a few short minutes later Rambo takes out the entire chopper.

A bow hunter who is bent on revenge?

Sexual Content?

Normally I would count how many titties we can see but alas we see none nadda zippo in Rambo II. However I also count how many man asses we see. Rambo is special in that we don't just get a short glimpse at Stallone's muscular ass. No we get to see a full frontal nude shot. His massive Rifle and all. We also get to see some women being brutalized because we all know that during the 80s women who didn't return to the kitchen were brutaly murdered. Rambo's love interest is brutally gunned down only seconds after Rambo agrees to bring her back to the USA, thus causing Rambo to return to the POW camp and start his epic masterpiece of slaughter.

Enjoy it while it lasts boys because she is the only girl in this movie

No One Not Even You Will Remember If We Were Good Men Or Bad?
This movie is actually pretty damn good. Sure Rambo is able to kill the entire Vietnamese army with his cock. But the fact that the character of John Rambo who is tortured by a nation who did not appreciate his self sacrifice, is able to funnel his self loathing into pure rage is extremely good.

Misc
Was there a nuclear blast? No
Was someone kicked in the face? No
Did a building blow up? yes an entire POW camp and a Village
Did somthing explode when it shouldnt have? well all of the huts exploded as if they were packed with at least one hundred tons of TNT each.

There you go Rambo First Blood II for our first day of 80s aciton reviews. I give this film 138 kicks to the face because it was just so damn awesome. I eagerly await Rambo's fourth film coming out next year.