Epic Tales 8
It is again time to look into the book of Epic Tales, for once again the time comes when its dark powers have forced itself open upon the world.
For this is a tale of the day known as Christmas. It is a tale of a loyal son of the Emperor who fell to the forces of Chaos. It is true that most Epic tales are uplifting but it is also true that not all things are right in the Immortal God Emperors realm.
The Immortal God Emperor Of Mankind Beloved By All
Long ago when the world was still new but not so new that Emperor Norris beloved by all did not have legions of loyal Space Marines to embark on epic crusades. The Emperor needed to set up an administration that would rule Terra while he was away. He placed George Washington as the head of this Council of Terra as he knew that Washington was loyal through and through.
The Emperor knew that Washington was a master organizer and strategist, a top level warrior and politician. But he had no mind for economics. The God Emperor of Mankind placed Ebenezer Scrooge in charge of the Terran economy as Scrooge was a shrewd business man who was known for his ruthless money lending policies.
Scrooge was known as a cold man because he gave little to those who did little for themselves. He was against the welfare system as keeping the less then fit children of the Emperor around only drained the overall effort of galactic conquest. Scrooge had an outstanding working relationship with George Washington first High Lord of Terra because they had one goal and that was to turn Terra into a fortress world. Unfortunately traitors, heretics, mutants, and xenos conspired against Lord Washington.
Washington moved his forces quickly across the Delaware River and slayed all in their sleep. Washington and his men covered themselves in glory on Christmas Day. But alas the night before the forces of Chaos had other things in store for the stewards of Terra.
For The Emperor and For Terra
For Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by what he thought were three ghosts but who were actually Daemons of the warp. They tricked him into believing that his ways were wrong and that he was bringing down the Imperium. In reality though Scrooge had been tricked to set up the Terran economy so that it would crumble years later.
Beware Chaos, They Are Lies
Washington was ashamed for his failings in the Emperors stead. He went to confront Scrooge for the wrongs of the economy. By this time Scrooge had fully embraced Chaos and was now a fat bloated follower of Nurgle the Chaos god of plague and rot. Washington battled the disgusting blob for 30 days on top of Mt Fuji. On the 30th day Scrooge was slain but not after he had infected Washington with pneumonia.
Washington died with some of the Emperors most loyal children at his side. Before he died he passed stewardship of Terra to Christopher Walken. Walkens time as the High Lord of Terra was a golden age, but thats another tale.
For this is a tale of the day known as Christmas. It is a tale of a loyal son of the Emperor who fell to the forces of Chaos. It is true that most Epic tales are uplifting but it is also true that not all things are right in the Immortal God Emperors realm.
The Immortal God Emperor Of Mankind Beloved By All
Long ago when the world was still new but not so new that Emperor Norris beloved by all did not have legions of loyal Space Marines to embark on epic crusades. The Emperor needed to set up an administration that would rule Terra while he was away. He placed George Washington as the head of this Council of Terra as he knew that Washington was loyal through and through.
The Emperor knew that Washington was a master organizer and strategist, a top level warrior and politician. But he had no mind for economics. The God Emperor of Mankind placed Ebenezer Scrooge in charge of the Terran economy as Scrooge was a shrewd business man who was known for his ruthless money lending policies.
Scrooge was known as a cold man because he gave little to those who did little for themselves. He was against the welfare system as keeping the less then fit children of the Emperor around only drained the overall effort of galactic conquest. Scrooge had an outstanding working relationship with George Washington first High Lord of Terra because they had one goal and that was to turn Terra into a fortress world. Unfortunately traitors, heretics, mutants, and xenos conspired against Lord Washington.
Washington moved his forces quickly across the Delaware River and slayed all in their sleep. Washington and his men covered themselves in glory on Christmas Day. But alas the night before the forces of Chaos had other things in store for the stewards of Terra.
For The Emperor and For Terra
For Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by what he thought were three ghosts but who were actually Daemons of the warp. They tricked him into believing that his ways were wrong and that he was bringing down the Imperium. In reality though Scrooge had been tricked to set up the Terran economy so that it would crumble years later.
What Scrooge thought was kindness by extending credit to every one and I mean every one was actually setting up the market to be full of sub prime mortgages and debts that can not be repaid because your average American household is in 20 thousand dollars of credit card debt. He also deregulated wall street so that the market would "correct itself" He deballed the power of the Council of Terra. The Terran economy fell sharply. Many loyal children of the Emperor were unable to afford great monuments to his greatness. Many were thrown into the streets after the greedy money lending companies came calling for the unpaid debts.
Beware Chaos, They Are Lies
Washington was ashamed for his failings in the Emperors stead. He went to confront Scrooge for the wrongs of the economy. By this time Scrooge had fully embraced Chaos and was now a fat bloated follower of Nurgle the Chaos god of plague and rot. Washington battled the disgusting blob for 30 days on top of Mt Fuji. On the 30th day Scrooge was slain but not after he had infected Washington with pneumonia.
Washington died with some of the Emperors most loyal children at his side. Before he died he passed stewardship of Terra to Christopher Walken. Walkens time as the High Lord of Terra was a golden age, but thats another tale.
posted by Delta2 at 6:57 PM
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