Aviators

I was sitting here thinking about being a bad assed pilot. I was woundering who would want my bad assed skills more, the Navy or the Air Force. I've decided that I would fly for the Navy.

Why you might ask. I'll fucking tell you why. Naval Aviators are the most bad assed pilots ever. Naval Aviators don't puss out at the prospect of landing on a 500 foot moving runway. Hells no they love to land on small peices of runway because they are ultimate badassed pilots.










I hope them pusses in the airforce can land a plane sideways

Eject Eject Eject!!!

This is a personal blog so this might not be the regular kick in the face you normaly get.

I am a cuddle bitch. I can't beleive it. I was getting all the right signals letting me think that I had a target lock and I could go in with guns blazing. WRONG. Becasue of course I was never in the role of hunter. I was always just the god damn trusted friend...

Well at least you still have your pride... Wait you don't becasue it just blew up with your plane.

Ladys please do us a favor and if your nice to us, just say you see us ONLY as friends. Also don't base a future relationship with what has happened with previous dipshit boyfriends. Its insulting to those of us who know how to act around you properly.

So now where am I? Left crawling away from a crash that could have killed lesser men. In shock that I was on the cuddle bitch list the entire fucking time. This is the point when you look up to the sky and know that at least you got your wingmates up there. Always keeping an eye out for you.Thats my dreams. Sunk under the ocean.

Damn Hobo

So I was driving home from Delta Leaders house after a night of mischief and adventure. All of a sudden from out of no where a hobo on a bike and a bottle of liquor in his hand nearly runs into my car. The asshole actually decided to change direction by 90 degrees while a car was bearing down on him. It was like 11:45 I had my lights on so there is no way he didn't know I was coming.

Personaly I think the bastard wanted me to hit him so he could get a warm stay at the hospital. Guess what asshole. I could have killed you. But I guess it would be one less hobo in the world which isn't that bad.

I plan on teaching people about Sir Issac Newton. So that when they become hobos they will learn that my mid sized sedan will kill a person on a bike. Lucky for me and the hobo I have the uber fast reflexes and was able to stop before I crushed him.

Hey you can trust me your friendly town hobo

Super Villains

Today we don't have the great super villains we did in the past. Instead you get a bunch of guys who live in caves all day shitting in the same place they sleep. So I have decided to make a list of true Super Villains.
1. Darth Vader
2. Emperor Palpatine the undying
3. Dark Lord Sauron
4. The Joker
5. Ernst Blowfeld
6. Low Pan
7.Elmer Fudd
8.Dr Evil
9. Mr Gardner from high school
10. Cobra Commander
11. Skelator

No you are not the best shot in the world

I hate people who tell me how good of a shot they are. I know most of them are full of shit. They always tell me about the cool shots they got with their grandpas desert eagle. "Yeah Ed you should have seen how many squirls I killed with my grandpas Desert Eagle, most have hit one from a hundred yards in mid air" If I were to get a dollar for every time I hear that I would be up to five bucks.

No you are not a good shot. No your grandpa really doesn't let you shoot all manners of animal on his land with his supposed pocket cannon. Which you shoot one handed which is nearly impossible.

The problem with these kinds of people is that I always hear about these great exploits that they do with a gun. And no one to confirm the story. So why don't you knock off the shit and come up with smaller more belive able lies. But alas people who make up these stories are to stupid to actually know how to shoot the guns they love to brag about.












Me and my grandpa go hunting with our mini guns

I loathe the undead

Who has the audacity to rise from the dead? Assholes thats who. Zombies are grade A asshole. I mean honestly they are such dicks. They get up from the dead which on its own isn't bad. But then they try to eat me. FUCK THAT.Don't you come at me with those dirty assed hands

I can't stand how those undead sons of bitches think its cool to eat me. I never asked them to eat me, I never did anything to them. Yet they sit around and think hmmm Ed would be a good snack. WRONG BITCHES. I kill undead for that very reason. I loathe them so much that I shoot any undead I see with a shotgun.

Undead gots to learn that you don't fuck with some one who has killed countless thousands of undead before.FUCK YOU UNDEAD FUCK YOU

I'm in the pipe

Dropships. What makes them pwn so damn much?

Maybe its because they drop from space just so they can unload their cargo of Space Marines. Space Marines hate peace. Thats why they drop from the sky. They love to fight because without Space Marines we would be over run by Xeno scum

Pelican Dropship HALO

Dropship pilots have extreamly high mortality rates yet they still do the mission because without them the Space Marines wouldn't beable to kill all the Xeno scum who threaten Humanity.

Dropship Pilots have to stay cool during a battle. They have to land a crate with the aerodynamics of a brick, through AAA fire and high winds. They have to drop Space Marines off within a timly fashion. And they have to stay onstation to help the ground units when needed. And picking up Marines is just as dangerous as the drop off. No wounder dropships always crash in every sci fi video game.

"I'm in the pipe, five by five

Let us remember those brave men and women who protect humanity at every corner in the Galaxy. Cheyenne Dropship Aliens

Red Bull

I hate that shit. It tastes like camel piss. (mind you I've never drunk camel piss)

People who drink it and actually like it need to get their heads examined
red bull, it gives you the shits

Dog Days Of Summer

I hate this time of year. Why you might ask.

I'll tell you why. No games come out this time of year. Why cant game developers release more games during the one time of year I have an overabundence of time. They don't even have to create new games just expansion packs for games that really pwn.

Now that all the developers don't have to develop stuff for E3, they can actually do something useful and make games for this most boring time of year.

Why do they have to release all the games during Christmas. All its doing is creating more competition for the respective game. I'm not made of money game developers don't they know I can only buy a few games during the Christmas period. Maybe some developers will actually pull their heads out of their asses. Maybe

Godzilla

You know why i like Godzilla?

Because Godzilla dosen't take shit from no one. He looks at the Japanese and he doesn't like how they have all that urban sprawl. So he smashes up Tokyo just because the Japanese got cocky.

Same thing with all those monsters. King Ghidorah wants to try and show off. Smash!!! Ghidorah just got his ass kicked. Because Ghidorah maybe a king but Gods out rank Kings.
Godzilla is freaking stronger then hell. He can kick ass all day long and never get tired. He gets his powers from all the ass kicking he does.

Godzilla is the most kickassingist monster ever. DONT FUCK WITH GODZILLA

Hero

Today we have so few hero's. So I have decided to make a list of Heroic men all children can look to for inspiration as I once did so long ago.
1. Chuck Norris
2. Vin Diesel
3. Teh Pwnerer
4. Maddox
5. John Cusack
6. Batman
7. Gunny R Lee Ermy
8. Captain James T. Kirk
9. Special Agent Jack Bauer

I like to have fun

"I like to have fun." What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I keep on encountering people who say this phrase. I like to have fun but I don't actually say that it's an actual past time of mine.
I don't know anyone who doesn't "like to have fun", but the problem is our definition of fun. My definition of fun is playing computer in a dark room, or watching nerdy assed movies. Rosie Rotten Crotch's idea of fun is to sleep with many guys and drink large quantities of alchol. So next time you decide to say "I like to have fun" please elaborate what it is you mean. Because I will take that as code for I'm a hoe, or I'm a moron who actually thinks having fun is unique to you.