STDs on the net

I was talking to Kristi about the horrors of viruses associated with internet pron. She said "So its like an STD for your computer." Which now that I think about it, the net has found its equaliberium with nature.

You see STDs are Gods/Natures way of telling people that to much sex with too many people is a bad thing. If your going to live the playas life then you will pay dearly with your reproductive organs.

The internet is much like nature it has its own predators, assholes, goodie goodies and what not. But it also has a way to keep people from viewing to much pron without paying the price. I don't know about you but I don't want to wipe my hard drive. This is the price we pay for having free pron. Its like Sir Issac Newton said, for every action you will have an equal and opposite reaction. The action being free pron which makes some of you happy, and the equal and opposite reaction being a computer virus being the opposite reaction.

Lessons for all of us in the internet world or in the sexual world.

• Know your partner/ pron site
• Use protection Condoms and anti viruses work best although don't use a condom on your PC and vice versa
• Abstaining from internet pron/sex is the only way you can keep yourself/computer safe from the clapps.

A storms a brewing

Remember when I said summer sucked because no games were coming out. Well now its heading towards November and guess what. If we were in the doldrums than we are about to have the storm of the century hit. Beware for the end of our current civilization is about to end, what new world order will you join?

This is a very special year for gamers. Its because we get to have all three next gen systems this year. I have my money on the 360 to win out over the PS3 and the Wii in the long run, but it will be very interesting which system wins out for this year.

Lets look at all three systems shall we.

PS3: It looks like its a very very powerful system. I wouldnt mind buying one. With its library of the PS1 and PS2 its got a nice game line up already. The problem is that Sony thinks all Americans are made of shitloads of money. I'm not going to dish out the $600 plus cash for an extra controler and 2 games. I really want to love the PS3 I really do, but I can probably pick one up in three years at $150. I can wait. Hell I didnt pick up a PS2 until this last summer.

Wii: Ohh Nintendo how do I loathe you. Why do I get the feeling that Nintendo hates me? Is it because they named the system after a body function, is it because they think I want to look like an even bigger dork by waving the new controler around like a tool? Or is it that Nintendo is going to screw me over on games. Don't get me wrong I love Mario, and Zelda. I hate how Nintendo has to sell a system because it is the only system that has Mario, Zelda, and Mertroid Prime. Thats it. That is how they are going to out sell Sony and Microsoft. They were only able to get one true Mario game out for the gamecube, 2 Metroid games, and one Zelda game. (Zelda twilight princess doesnt count because its for both systems. Mind you I have had TP on back order since May 05.)

"But Ed you also get to download all of the old Nintendo games online." Great I get to download games I already own for my gameboy. Nintendo makes great handhelds, I own many different gameboys including a DS. They are also great at reselling games to me. Well guess what Nintendo I'm not going to get a Wii just so I can replay Mario Kart 64. Its like Nintendo has become the Mac of the gameing industry. They once sold the best stuff, but now they suck ass and have an elitist attitude, but make kickass hand held gear.

Ive been told that the great thing with Wii is that I get an internet service. Guess what assholes my Gamecube was supposed to get internet too. I get internet service with my xbox and my PS2. Why in the hell didnt I get internet with my gamecube. Ohh yeah Nintendo sucks ass. The only diffencne between the Wii and the gamecube is that the Wii will suppposedly have the internet service actually work, more RAM, and the stupid assed new controler that is going to change the market. For one it has fewer buttons than the gamecube controller. I need more buttons not less asshats, second The new point and shoot thing this controller can do has been done before, its called the ligth gun. Ohh yeah Nintendo stoped doing the lightgun after the SNES. Thats because its just a stupid gimick.

Don't lie about 3rd party developers eaither Nintendo. I know you hate them. Notice that after a year Nintendo was releasing first party games for gamecube nearly exclusivly. The only 3rd party game that came out in that time period, that was good is Resident Evil 4.

I don't want a Wii, I might pick one up after its under $100 and if it has a new controller. I mean hell if I'm to sit on my ass all day I dont want to be looking like these assholes.


Xbox 360: I'm going to come out and say that I'm probably going to get a 360. Sure it costs $500, but its been on the market for a year and its going to drop after christmas i bet. Its going to have a hell of a nice lineup of games this time next year. I hate Halo on xbox live I do like the games though, so I'll definatly have my copy of Halo 3 backordered. Plus with the backwards compatability I'll be able to play about 80% of my old Xbox games. I also like the xbox s controller the best out of the three current controllers, and the 360 controller is very similar to the controller s. (Yes the feel of a controller can sell me on a console)

PC gamers How can I forget you guys. You are the very hardest most BA of all gamers. We shall not be disaponited with the new lineups coming out

MY GAME PICKS FOR CHRISTMAS 2006

Guitar Hero II: Guitar Hero was the game that made me break down and buy a PS2 This game will kick so much ass.

God of War II: Its like GoW one but more bloody.

Gears of War: This will be the first game I get for the 360, Its got my 2 favorite game concepts. Killing Xenos, and a squad of buddys to help you out.
Close encounters of the third kind

DOW Dark Crusade: I already picked this one up and wow, I have now served the Emperor on a Crusade, and it feels good.

Company of Heros: Its got another one of my favorite concepts, killing krauts.

The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess: Ive had this game on backorder for over a year and a half, Its going to pwn and its going to be for my god damn gamecube.

Half Life 2: Episode 2: A few things, one its going to be out after christmas, two I wont be able to play it until after I build my new PC, and three it will also come with Team Fortress 2 which will kick so many people in the face its not funny.

RIP Battlestar Pegasus

The Battlestar Pegasus died like she lived, killing toasters.

On the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica Exodus Pt 2, the Battlestar Pegasus went to starship Valhalla, and she paved her way with not one, not two, but three cylon basestars.

In this episode of nBSG we saw Admiral Adama earn his place among the gods when he lured the Cylon Raider force away, FTL jumped into New Capricas atmosphere, launched vipers in the atmosphere while Galactica was falling(she is not an atmospheric capable starship)and then jump out into space before she hit the ground.


I have seen many combat drops in my day, but never have I seen a combat drop with a 4 kilometer long warship. This drop has earned the Express Elevator To Hell award. We also got to see what Adama means when he says close air support. (Edit October 25: This tactic is now called the Husker Hailmary)

Galactica was fighting off four Cylon Basestars and it looked pretty shitty. Admiral Adama was even questioning if the powers of his moustache would be able to keep the Galactica together. But then we see this









And then we see a Basestar go all boom. Commander Lee Adama decided to grow a pair of iron balls. He went in with the Pegasus and said FRAK YOU TOASTERS FRAK YOU. He was able to draw the Basestars away from the Galactica and draw them off from the escaping fleet.

But alas the mighty Battlestar Pegasus was in no shape to fight off now three basestars. Lee ordered his crew to abandon ship, and he thanked the old beast for one last horrah.

Alas after the evacuating crew leaves on the last raptors, Pegasus flys into one Basestar, and her launch pod goes carrening off into a second Basestar. Now it has been debated among scholars as to how this happened. Some say that before Lee left he sent her to ram the Basestar. I for one beleive that the mighty beast willed herself into the Basestar, as if she alone would take revenge for every Battlestar that was destroyed by the Cylons.SO SAY WE ALL

Admiral Adama got his people back like I said he would. He did so with the powers of the moustache and the sacrifice of the Pegasus.

The Cylon Empire will not soon forget the name Pegasus.

Warhammer 40K the movie

After being inspired by Scott, I've decided to make a movie. It will pwn so much because first of all it will be made by me and will pwn because of how much I pwn. Secondly it will pwn because it will be about Warhammer 40K probably the most Violent and manly sci-fi universes ever.

It will be about a chapter of Space Marines and there battle against the Tau Empire. I choose the Tau because for one the Tau are extreamly mechanized and it would be really cool to see a massive tank battle between the Tau and an Imperial Guard armoured division.
Lets not go forward you xeno freaks

Anyway the plot will be about Space Marines and the Imperial Guards mission to retake a planet from the Tau. I will add some Chaos in the mix just because they are so damn cool. They will probably be in the first scenes of the movie as the Space Marines pull out of a planet and then glass it from orbit.

This movie will be very very violent. It will be rated VO (Veterans Only) Their will be many people set on fire with flamethrowers because I think flaming people is cool. People will also be crushed, vaporized, decapitated, and shot. Their will be drama and moral decisions, like when the main character has to decide between burning a village of orphans or just having the village bombarded from orbit.

I also want a huge assed space battle. I have only seen two somewhat acceptable space battles on film. The first Battle being the Battle of Endor, It needed less fighter action and more captial ship sluggfesting. The second battle was the Battle of Coruscant. That one had the capital ship sluggfest I wanted but not long enough or enough figheter action, it could have also had more variety of capital ships on the Republic side.

Their must be a gratuitus Eldar Farseer beating in this movie. Why? I hate the Eldar, they are so cocky. They act like nobody else has an opinion on intergalactic matters. Plus I have had to many problems dealing with Farseerers in Dawn of War. The more violent the beating the better I say.

Who is going to star in my movie you might be woundering.

Eric Bana will play the main character Brother Captain Edster Kickaster because Kickaster will be based off of me and only Eric Bana could ever play me

Vin Diesel will play the Bad Assed Sargent. He will probably have many scenes where he cuts Tau in half with a chainsaw.

Chuck Norris will have a special spot as the Imortal God Emperor of Mankind. Because Chuck Norris is the Imortal God Emperor of Mankind in real life.

Christian Bale will play the leader of a squad of Gray Knights because he pwns and so do the Gray Knights.

Ving Rhames will play a grand inquisitor because I want him to get medieval on some Chaos ass.

The Rock will play a Space Marine because I like the rock and hes the kind of guy who would be a Space Marine if he was in the WH40K universe.

Last but not least Tom Cruise will play the Tau commander. I mean hey Tom wants to get closer to the mother ship. Why not let him play what he wants to be like for real. Plus he wont have to wear any makeup because hes so ugly he could pull off the alien look just fine. Plus he gets to die at the end because Space Marines don't let xeno commanders live.

If I get the go ahead with this film all nerds will rejoice for I will finally be able to get a movie with a killcount that exceeds 200 billion. I give this movie 200 billion kicks in the face, one for each body.

Poseurs, who needs them?

I can't stand poseurs. They piss me off. They are the kind of people who write blogs about how they are independent minded and don't care what other people think of them because there girl friend told them so.

Guess what asshole. You aren't thinking for yourself, your just reguritating what your girl friend just told you. Lets actually have an original thought for once shall we.

Poseurs sit around and plan what kind of outfits they are going to wear for the week. Thats okay if your a girl. In no way should a man put more than 15 seconds of thought into what hes wearing for the day, exceptions may be if he is going in for a job interview and needs to decide what tie he wants to wear.

These people think that when people dislike them for there n00bish attitudes its because we are jealous of them. No we don't like them because of the slimy fake feeling they emit. When I see a poseur I feel uncomfortable because I know that they are being fake and that anything they say to me is just a line of bull. These people are living a lie, why should we think that anything they tell us is anything but a lie.

Poseurs would be like Two Face from Batman if they were supervillians. They just change faces from group to group, and when you call them out on there two faced ways they tell you that your not the boss of them blah blah blah.

Lets face it humans are social creatures. We can't survive without human contact. Hell in a nutshell civilization can be described as when a group of people learn to live together so that we may all reach the common goal of survival.

"When I like you, I'll be polite and be their for you. If I don't like you, I'm going to be an ass and not want to talk to you or be around you."

With that kind of attitude human civilization would have crumbled within a week of its inception. The thing that these little angst filled punks have to learn is that even if we don't like a group of people we must still treat them with respect. I work in the retail industry, and if I were to "be an ass " to everyone I didn't like, then buisness would plumit. Hell I have never liked the fellow who wrote that little excert. He has always come off fake to me. Maybe I should tell him next time that he should go fuck himself up the ass, and that I was only nice to him because we shared mutual friends who I cared enough about so that I would have to put up with him every day for years. That is how society functions.

In the past five years nerds have become popular, due to popular media and the fact that we are the only ones who can help you when your hard drive fails, or you get a virus from all that internet pron youve been downloading and then lie that you got it through an email when your girl friend asks you how you got it.

If you happen to be a poseurs, don't try to call yourself a nerd because you happen to like computers. That makes you a geek. If their is one thing that pisses me off about these assholes who are now trying to act like they are a nerd, the sub cultural group I fit into.

Nerds are general experts on multiple things geek. Poseurs who try to tell me that they are nerds make me sick. I'll ask them what there favorite movie is, and if I hear somthing like Fast and the Furious or The Italian Job then I'm going to laugh. Nerds may watch those movies and even enjoy them but real nerds list of favorite movies consists of Films like Star Wars, LOTR, Spiderman, Aliens, Blade Runner, ect. Nerds love watching Sci Fi and Fantasy. Thats what makes us who we are.

Nerds also have a broad knowledge of geekdom. Its not just the damn computers, anyone can learn to do tech support. I for one am an expert in American history, a dozen sci fi universes, super hero mythology, anthropology, military trivia, and science. For Christ sake I'm going to school so that I can teach science becuase I can't imagine a more fun job than to sit around all day teaching kids my passion for science. Thats what makes a nerd not that I can defrag my hard drive or that I can troubleshoot a virus problem.

And one last thing for you poseurs, Halo does not make you pwn at gaming. Madden doesn't even count as a game. Ohh I'm going to play football on my xbox, wow I could have been outside doing it too. Real gamers play games like CS 1.6, CSS, DOW, Star Craft, Doom, COD, War Craft, C&C, and the Half Life series. Hell I started playing FPS in 1992 when Wolfenstein 3D cameout for shareware. That is how I earned my gaming wings. Not playing Halo, and Madden.

Poseurs don't try to make yourself feel cool by taking the limelight away from those of us who actually think for ourselves. No matter what you do, those of us who are actually cool will never like you.

WWAD (What Would Adama Do)

The show Battlestar Galactica pwns. It pwns because of one man. Admiral William "Husker" Adama.

Admiral Adama must have been born in the center of a star because he is one hard assed mofo. He has fought in not one but two Cylon wars. He started off as a Viper pilot and moved up to command the best ship in the fleet. Galactica is the greatest battlestar because of how much killing that ship can dish out.

Admiral Adama kept humanity going even after all of the colonies were nuked to hell by the toasters. He was like "Fuck we're an endangered species. We have to make babies." He decided that it was more important to humanity that he protects a fleet of civilian ships vs going out and ruining the entire Cylon Fleet.

Adama is also very loving of all of those who are under his command. He used most of his aviation fuel just to save one downed pilot (note the downed pilot did survive) He also almost started a shooting war with a more powerful battlestar just to get two of his crew from it.

Bill Adama is also very even minded. He always makes the right decision. Like when the fleet was about to rip itself apart and he came back from the dead just to reunite it. He made the right decision to go and kill the resurection ship with Peagasus because his kill quota was way to low during the second Cylon war.

Adama had to leave the colonists on New Caprica to escape from the Cylons once again. This left him with a massive thirst. A thirst for blood. He decided to quench his thirst by attacking the Cylon fleet of five basestars to his two battlestars. He is going to waist them basestars becasuse he is so hard. Adama said one thing that let all of us know that he meant buisness buy telling his fat assed son Commander Lee "Apollo" Adama that he was infact soft and a tubby bitch, and that he was going to get all of his people back. Because Adama loves all humanity and hates every toaster he finds.

Admiral Adama is going to come through for humanity because thats the only thing he knows how to do. Whenever things look the most bleak humanity can always look to the wise warrior that is Adama.

I always ask myself in tough times what Adama would do, the answer is always going to be the right one.Adama is going to get his people back.

Flyboys Review (spoilers)

So I went to flyboys the otherday. It was awsome because I got to see an awsome movie with two of the best friends I could ever have.

Any ways we went in thinking that it was going to be old fashioned where people would kill like in the olden days all gentlemenly, pistols at dawn and such.

WE WERE WAY OFF.

It starts off with a bunch of dudes who are bored. They get the same great idea. The idea went somthing like this "Hey I'm American and I want to win. But we are at peace and peace means I can't win. Wait a war do you say? In France? I'll teach those French Fuckers how to fight." So the young men all decide to go to France and fly aero planes.

This is where we meet our sterotypes we have our young dashing hero Rawlings and veteran hero Cassidy, we have our French Captain (played by the only BA Frenchmen Jean Reno) We also have a preist, a screw up, a romantic and a token black guy. Last but not least we have a rich kid and the naive kid.

So the boys all learn how to fly in a series of montages. The guys crash into a burlesque house and get laid. At this point it looks like the "Great War" was all about sleeping with hoes and training. But then we finally get to see our young American heros go kick some Kraut ass.

Unfortunatly shit hits the fan. The boys get jumped by some German Fockers. The kid gets shot down and makes it out alive. But because he was cocky the Hun with the black Focker shot him for being such a n00b.

Every one is upset, but the Brits are like wait a sec boys you guys can have a drink with us.

Later they fly again and actually getting kills. Rawling is able to get two kills because he is our hero. Everyone is happy that the squadron has kills. Cassidy the squad leader tell the boys to not get cocky and that he needs to get revenge. Cassidy has over 20 kills and is a total bad ass.After a succesfull hunt the boys talk about whos gun is bigger

Rowling starts hitting on a French girl. He falls in love with her even though she can't speak a word of English and he can't speak a word of French. Those must have been strange dates.

The boys make even more kills. They are like USA all the way. But the screw up fellow looses his hand. This is sad because his hand was chopped off with an entrenchment tool. I mean come on thats got to really hurt.

The Boys finally get an uber mission. Its a boss battle in a way. They have to go and take out a Zepplin thats on a bomb run for Paris. They go and seriously fuck up the Krauts. The Priest buys it and its kind of sad because he was a good pilot. The token black pilot was able to get the 2nd best kill of the day. He got to make a headshot with his Machine Guns. It was so tight me and Scott both yelled out BOOM HEADSHOT. Cassidy fights his arch nemisis the black Focker.
They have a really cool dogfight but we find out Cassidy isnt as good as the Focker so he gets shot with about 58 bullets. But because Cassidy is American he just keeps on trucking and slams his plane into the Zepp. It even had a little man who was running ontop of the Zepp. Running from the massive explosion.
Thats what happens when you fuck with America

Everyone is sad again. Rowling also goes and rescues his Girl Friend from the Germans. Two Kraut infantrymen decide that its cool to stand infront of an airplane while it takes off. Its not cool. They both got killed by the machine gun.

So they go on a bomb run on a factory. The screw up flys with his new hook. It looks like a cake walk but then the Huns show up. Mad dogfights insue. The fat rich kid gets wasted. And Rawling is all pissed. They blow up a whole lot of shit and come back home. Rawling stays grounded long enough to ammo up because he was going into a boss battle.
We know this Kraut is evil. I mean come on his plane is black, black is the color of Satan

He goes and pisses off the black Focker just so he can dog fight. They dogfight for awhile and it looks like they are even until more Krauts show up. Rawlings MG gets broken. But the romantic dude shows up and cleans off the black Fockers buddies. (the romantic dude was all freaked out after the first mission and hadent flown until now) then Rawling dogfights the black Focker more even though he doesnt have a working MG. now read this carefully.

Rawling explodes his shoulder and pretends to be dyeing. The crazy Kraut comes up besides him and looks him in the eyes (Scott said why doesn't he pull out his gat, and Kristi was like shoot him with your gun) the black Focker pulls in behind Rawling about to do the coup de gra. But Rawling was like FUCK YOU and flips his plane around in a really awsome move and is right next to the Kraut. He pulls out his pistol and shoots the dude in the face. I couldn't beleive it. It was a kick in the face.

I have never had it where both of my friends are screaming at the dude to do somthing and then he does it in such a bad assed way. This film is a great reminder of the sacrifices that generation went through. It also explains why America kicks so much ass. I give this film 4 kicks in the face. Plus another 500 for the last boss battle with the headshot.