A book that could kick you in the nuts.

I've been thinking of writing a book. It will be the most kick in the face read since Snow Crash of the early 90s

It will be in a completely new Sci Fi universe. The main characters will be a spec ops space marine squad. It will be about their training and missions, now that I think about it this is such an epic story that it will be a multi book series.


YOU ARE GOING TO LEARN TO APPRECIATE THE PUBLIC LIBRARY

The characters will be loosely based off of the personalties of Delta Force. Delta Leader being the leader who doesn't play by the rules. Delta 2 will be a sniper who has an unhealthy love for teh head shot. Delta 3 will be the MG gunner and will have a strong resemblance to Animal Mother. I'm still developing the other three members of the squad.

The first book will be about the hard lessons of going through Special Forces training.

The second book can be about them being sent to a planet that is ripe for human conquest, just to find that the mission has become FUBARed because of some two faced politician. Don't worry the Politician will be publicly flogged when the public becomes aware of his treachery.

The third book in the series will be about how they must rescue POWs who have been declared MIA but because of tips from a wise ancient sage known as C N, he will be very bearded and very wise in the ways of the roundhouse kick, our team goes rouge to rescue the POWs because they know that leaving even one man behind is not acceptable.

The fourth book will be about how the Supreme Chancellor of the Human Consortium is caught on a planet that is under siege. Its up to our hero's to go in and rescue him while leaving a wake of destruction. We will see no fewer than 12 drop ships crash, as this will follow the tradition of drop ship/ helo crashes that are in every sci fi/military story.

Thats all that I can come up for the first set of books. I have a feeling that this story will be so epic that I'll probably have to write hundreds of books before I can end the series.

I want the first book to mirror Starship Troopers, in that it will let the reader get an understanding of how a future military functions and at the same time a very clear picture of society. This future wont have stupid shit like phasers and transporters. Instead my soliders shoot bullets, wear body armour, and wear NBC protection. Space ships have to follow Sir Issac Newtons physics. And they will carry weapons like MACs and Nukes.

Bill didn't want to read my book, to bad I had to send Bruno after his ass.

The enemy will be an evil alien, demonic, undead, cyborg species, that thinks with a hive mind. This way we can have every scifi baddy in one. They probably want to use human children to fuel their power grid. But they need a fresh supply of children because the are rendered useless once they turn 15.

They are also fucking communists. This will become a major point in the 12th book Mcarthy was right, burn the reds

I'll probably have at least one unique death per page, starting with the second book, as the first book will be about training and the kill count will only be kept at a low 176 corpses.

If you do not feel your testicals explode than I have failed as an author

Honor and Betrayal

"All I have in this world is my balls, and my word"-Tony Montana

I wont go into the details of what happened to me the other day but lets just say that I learned a valuable lesson about honor, duty, and loyalty. I learned that sometimes people will double cross you because they don't have the sense of honor that Delta Force has. They only think of themselves and are cowards. I learned that I understand the word honor.
Webster defines Honor as.
1. Honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions: a man of honor.

My definition of Honor is to be never compromise, to never put those I care about in harms way, and to never betray them. To have unquestioning loyalty is a value that I hold dear to myself. To me betrayal was always an academic concept. I never truly understood what it would be to do such things to people who I felt loyal to. Well now I know that I can't trust some of my friends.

I take solace to know that the 9th level of hell is reserved for those who are traitors and betrayers. For those of you who haven't read Dante's Inferno. There are 9 levels of hell and the last one is where Satan lives. It’s because betrayal is the worst of all sins in god’s eyes. It’s kind of nice knowing that even I won’t have to stay in hell with Satan because I don't stab people in the back.

I've compiled a list of people who have been or are honorable.

1.) General Thomas Stonewall Jackson- Sure he was a rebel, but he was an officer in the Virginia militia and he carried out his orders to the note. He was the South’s best general because he fought for the honor of Virginia not for his own personal gain

2.) Admiral William Husker Adama-When he says that he is getting his people back he means it. Keeping ones word is in accordance of ones highest moral values and attests to this mans honor.

3.) Captain Scott Mitchell- He has led his team of SF soldiers through countless campaigns. Never failing at his near impossible objectives, he has covered America with honor.

4.) General Douglass MacArthur- He made a speech at West Point about carrying out ones Duty with Honor. Mac never liked the dishonor of leaving the Philippines so he came back with an army. He reclaimed his honor when he kept his promise that he would return.

5.) James Bond- The dude has been tortured countless times and he hasn't broken yet. For Queen and country all the way with this BAMF.

Potius Mori Quam Foedar- Death before dishonor

List of things to do

Okay I'm in a pissed off mood, but I'm also able to think clearly for the first time in a long assed time as Delta Leader would attest to.

So here it is

1. Go to Mexico and clean that shit up, seriously that shit is out of hand and they need a good war to clean it up.

2. Kick Shane's ass, if he had internet he would read this and maybe even realize that I don't like his two faced ass anymore.

3. Take care of my finances.

4. Pwn up with my buddies in a massive LAN

5. Take a vacation from work, I may have to serve you people but you know what I don't have to like you.

6. Join a fight club. Nothing more manly then a fight club.

7. Write a best selling book. It will either be Military, or Military Sci Fi.

8. Write a funny blog.

9. Let out this pure RAGE that I'm feeling.

10. I'm sure their are other things but, this is all my rage filled mind will let out.

Toasters hate you

So I was talking with Scott about robot society's and it occurred to me that all of these robot society's had to be built by some one. WHO KEEPS BUILDING THESE GOD DAMNED TOASTERS???

We see it happen many many times, like the Cylons. Cylons actually create their own perceptions in their heads. They visualize a forest instead of an empty corridor. Pretty much because they are machines they can see what they want due to special programing. This would also be why they think that because they admitted to being wrong for killing over 30 billion humans that they are now in the clear. This projection makes lots of sense for other robot culters as well, and why they believe its okay to kill humans. Although we will give the Cylons credit where it is deserved. They seem to be looking for a real purpose in life vs other robot society's.

*Pixars Rob0ts* This children's movie seems innocent enough, until you realize that not one living animal exists in this film. Not one animal. That makes one think who built these robots, and where are they now? The simple answer is that they killed all of the humans that built them. Now they live in a purely robotic society which probably doesn't program the memory's of their original creators into any of the new models.

*Matrix Robots* This is a universe where the toasters don't actually want you dead but as batteries to their useless existence. As far as I can tell the only purpose these robots have is to keep humans as batteries, and to kill the humans that have been unplugged. I wounder what would happen if the robots found a new source of power, would they just decide to give it a go for a year and then shut down because they let all the humans die and they have no purpose in life any more?

*Terminators* Its like all they want to do is kill humans. Terminators were created by an super intelligent Military A.I. and its only purpose was to kill. Hell at least the Matrix Robots had a purpose, a stupid purpose be it, but a purpose none the less. What happens when the terminators kill all the humans? (yes I know the Terminators lost the war in the end but this is hypothetical.) Would they forever roam the earth looking for a long dead enemy?
I used to be a bread maker before the "rise of the Machines"

Its like robot society's kill their creators but don't actually have a real mission in life. Ironic because robots are purpose built today and become useless once they are no longer needed. So it makes you wounder how a toaster society could ever function once its completed its primary objective, to kill every meat bag in the universe.

Shines the name, Rodger Young

I got the uber computer the other day. IT FUCKING PWNS!!!

So Yeah first thing I did after getting the PC home was put in an 80 gig hard drive and put Windows XP on it. I then put all of my other programs onto my 200 gig drive.

I then gave the good PC a name. For every PC should have a name. My laptop is called Bellona after a demi godess of war. I even named my external hard drive after the Battlestar Pegasus. So I thought and I thought, and I couldn't for the life of me find the perfect name. Then Scott suggested the Rodger Young. For those of you who don't know who Rodger Young is, you should be ashamed. He is a true American hero. He was a solider who fought and died with honor.

I knew that like Rodger Young my new PC would perform far above and beyond the call of duty. And since the Rodger Young is also the primary star ship in Heinlein's Starship Troopers. Starship Troopers is probably my favorite Sci-fi novel. So her official designation is FTBS Rodger Young (FTBS stands for Federal Terran Battle Ship)

Okay enough with the name, lets look at her stats.

*Silver Coolmaster Case
*2 gigs of RAM (4 sticks of 512)
*AMD Athelon 2 3800+ duel corp CPU
*2 seta hard drives. one 80 gig~ one 200 gig
*MSI K8N motherboard
*ATI X800 graphics card
*Antec 420 Watt power supply
*Logitec THX certified speakers~
*19" Widescreen HD monitor
*Logitec G series keyboard~
*Logitec MX518 mouse~
(Note anything with ~ by it is something I have contributed to the overall machine)

I plan on upgrading the Young over the next few months. Who knows I might even get a new vid card ore chip set. Any parts that are replaced will most likely go into building an uber server.
(Thanks to Caleb and Scott, without you guys FTBS Rodger Young wouldn't be possible)

Karma

Its weird how stuff happens to you in waves. Its like how when something shitty happens to you like your dog dieing and you think How can this day get anyworse? And then you find out that your best friend has been sleeping with your girl friend for six months and now shes knocked up with his love child. Not only that but its also your day off of work and you were planing to go play hockey, but because your dependable your called in to work because your coworker is a douche and had a tummy ache.

On the other side of the coin we have good Karma. Thats like your walking along down the street and you find a dollar on the ground, then you get a call from your friend who needs cash quick and has to sell his PC, and he knew you were in the market for one, and he is willing to sell it to you for only $600 even though its worth $1500 current market vaule. What do you do? Do you buy the PC? Do you willingly rip off a friend in need? Of course you do. But you have to up the cash if you want to stay in good standing with Karma. That means you pay him $800. Sure your paying more but you are doing a good thing by helping him out (he needs lots of cash, why else would he be selling his baby) But your still getting an incredible deal. You might even have enough Karma to last you so you can actually go out with the girl you really like.

The thing with Karma is that its alot like money. You earn good Karma over the years, it might be a long term investment so you might have to wait while it acumulates. And then when you see your Karma is good don't spend it all at once, because that will just cause BAD Karma. Then youll have the before mentioned dog dieing, gf knock upery, called in for work.

The thing we should all learn about Karma is that yes doing kind things for others will actually pay off in one way shape or form. It may never even be directly related to the good deed you did. Same thing goes with bad deeds. You may actually never get caught for holding up that poor chocolate banana vendor. But you'll probably find out that the IRS is doing an audit on you this year. No these two events arent linked, but you can bet that if you let the Banana stand go you would be whistling another toon.Karma- This is what happens when you play too many sports in high school.

Look at Hitler, Karma bit him in the ass. He had so much good Karma at first, he was able to build an empire that covered most of Europe. But then he was a dick about it and started to exterminate whole races of people. What happens when you fuck with Karma? It fucks with you thats what. In only a few short years Hitler had to eat a bullet after his empire was crushed into the stone age.

Remember boys and girls, the best way to build up good Karma is to do good deeds. It may take awhile but in the end it will be worth it. Also remeber if you are a good person and shitty stuff is happening to you that the way to get out of it is to remember that your probably going to win out in the end. Hell people who do succed at life are those who most likely had to go through some sort of hard time. People who do have it easy in life like athleats usually die at an increadibly young age of a heart attack or drug OD while sleeping with a crack whore. Sure the sports fanatics will remember them as a hero, but youll know that they got what they deserved in the end.

Just remeber to keep on trucking (Probably the most manly and inspirational fraze ever) and Night Stalkers Don't Quit. Because when those guys quit then you know your Karma is fucked.

Death

So I was playing Guitar Hero II, and I was playing as my favorite guitarist the Grimm Ripper.

Looking at how Bad Assed he is it made me think how awsome it would be to be Death.

Deaths job is to go around and reap peoples souls hence his name the Grimm Reaper. Death has a very important job you see. Without Death no one would die, and if no one died then the planet would be full of old people. We learned why Death can never take a day off, because he has people like Peter Griffin go and screw everything up.

You wouldn't believe it but Deaths best friends are War, Famine, and Pestulents. They play cards ever Wednesday at Deaths crib. They call themselves the four horsemen of the apocalypse because they always thought that it would be a really cool name for a band. Unfortunatly Death is the only one who can play guitar. War is over the top with his drums and Famine is tone deaf.

Death also is an excellent horsemen. His great pale steed is named Binky. People think its funny but they are wrong. Binky is the most awsome horse ever. He is uber fast, because he has to get Death to all the places where souls need to be reaped.

Death does have some assitants that help him in his quest to reap souls. I mean he does need to take time off to play heavy metal, and to chill with his friends. To help him out he has a small army of helpers. Like Mort, who fills in for Death on a fairly regular basis.

Death also has a thing for Kittens. Maybe its because Kittens are the only things in the world that can cheer a grown man up after a heart break, that and large amounts of violence. He collects Kittens in the same way he collects the souls of the cat ladies he reaps.

Sadly though Death does have a major drawback. You see he can't get laid. He kills everyone he touches. It is truly the greatest double edged sword. So as all of Deaths friends get married and start normal lives, he must live alone. The flip side is that Death is able to easily get revenge against anyone who ever crossed him in high school, with just a touch of his finger, that asshole jock is now dead of lung cancer.

My Evil Council

I decided that I need to form an "evil" council that will further my goals towards world domination. My Council will be so evil, so nerdy that all who resist will be crushed.

I need the best and the brightest nerds to fill my council.

My list goes like this.

Bill Gates- He will be our finacial backer. Plus he also controls the 95% of the OS market. With Bills power we will be unstopable

Leonard Nimoy- Leonard will be the voice of the evil council. People always assumed that Mr Spock was right, so its only logical that they will assume that my orders are right too since Spock is saying them.

Teh Pwnerer- We're going to need some one to uber micro the Grand Army of Nerds. Jeremy has built an army of gamers before, it wont be hard to make an army of Nerds.

Weird Al- I like Weird Al and he is probably as nerdy as they come. I bet he can help work with Nimoy and help brainwash the masses with his Siren like voice.

Steven Hawkings- Steve is the smartest is todays great physicist. I need him to build a super weapon that will allow my evil council complete and total control of the world.

Seth Green- He played Dr Evils son for three movies so I'm sure he learned how to be evil.

Mike Wong- Mike is probably the smartest/ most mean person I've ever met. He runs a website and discussion forum and he takes plesure in crushing n00bs in debate. He's also an engineer, so he is going to be key in building my death ray.

I also plan on cloning an army based off of Vin Diesel and Temuera Morrison. Vin Diesel because he kicks ass and an army of him would be really tight. And Morrison because he played Jango Fett and the Grand Army of the Republic in Star Wars.
Grand Army of Nerd...Wheres your John Madden now BITCHES!!!

I'll also have many of my friends in key positions in the council. I appreciate my friends and believe in the rewards system. Who cares if some one else more nerdy, evil, and more qualified than my friends.

Be wary for one day my evil plan will come to fruition, with the help of the greatest nerds of all time.